January 27, 2012
8:04 pm
by: cadmin

How to Make House Rules that Stick

It is noteworthy that the digital age has simplified lives beyond description and made the world a smaller place; however, it is also a great distraction to kids and adults alike. If rules were an important part of child discipline from the ancient times, in today’s digital age, they have become quite a necessity. But then there’s this other thing about rules, making them stick!

Being Objective and Rational about Setting Rules
It is human psychology (perhaps curiosity of what the consequences will be) to wonder what happens if we do something we’re not supposed to. The first thing that comes to a child’s mind when you instruct them not to do something is, “why not?”! Why is it forbidden, what is the big deal? Remember this basic psychology while setting house rules, especially for kids. Any prohibition without explaining the reasons behind it will only lead to building up of the curiosity and eventually flouting the rule. Allay the suspense about the consequences of flouting the rules. Explain why the rule exists in the first place. The child needs to see the consequence as a result of his/her own actions.

Strategy to Build House Rules
Now let us build out a strategy for coming up with clear and unambiguous rules that will stick. At the core of this strategy should be the objective, that house rules must be meant to promote togetherness and an atmosphere of peace and order. From a discipline standpoint, rules should serve more as standards and not punishments. The idea behind setting any rule must be to encourage children to develop a sense of responsibility. Children need to make sense of the rules such that they follow it on their own, even when you’re not watching. Rules should NOT serve as virtual leashes to hold back children from anything! If you do that, the harder you pull the leash, Newton’s law of motion will ensure an equal but opposite reaction.

  • The Fewer, the Better: Refrain from writing a rule book. You know what happens to those books, they’re pretty useless unless you’re arguing in a court of law or running a redemption center for convicted felons. Having a rule in place for every imaginable circumstance in the house, is a recipe for disaster. Keep them simple and more importantly, keep them few. Keep in mind your child’s maturity level and the values you want to pass on to him/her as the foundation for your rules. If you’re a single parent, or living with a partner who’s not related to the kids (stepfather or stepmother), if the kid has siblings or if he/she has special needs, all these “special” situations will make your rules unique to your family. Select the most important matters to make rules about.
  • Get Rid of “Because I said so” and “For your own good”: If you want your kids to stick to the rules, involve them in setting them up. Yes, let’s leave babies and toddlers out of this of course, but as soon as children begin to understand things around them, make them participate in the discussion about setting up rules. If you have allotted an hour every day for watching television, explain to the child why you think it’s a proper duration. Tell them what they’d have to do for the rest of the time. Allotting time for homework, playing with friends, etc., must be done with the child’s participation. This will not only make the child familiar with the rules but also make them aware that you’re taking into consideration his/her needs. A participative process will automatically lead the child to think that he/she has a say in your scheme of things. You can also explain the need to have a particular rule and the consequences of flouting the rule, during this discussion. The rules will then become more effective.
  • Write it Down, Put it Up, Stick it On: Once the list of rules (as small a list as possible) is ready, make an artwork out of it and ensure that the kids get to see it easily while going about the house. Enlisting their help in making a poster out of it or hanging it up behind the door to their room will convey the “fun element” about rules while clearly communicating the seriousness about sticking to them. Revise or revisit the rules whenever needed, not very frequently though. After a few months, when you see that the kids are taking to certain rules quite easily and without supervision, you may compliment them for it and remove that rule from the list. You just need to emphasize that while you’re proud that the rule needs no reminding, it is still an unwritten rule. These actions will enable the kids to place you in their circle of trust and they’re more likely to continue following the rules without constant supervision.
  • Do Not Underestimate the Power of Positive Reinforcement: Has it ever happened that you have been driving your car safely for several years without breaking any laws and the one fateful day that things go wrong and you inadvertently make that small error, you’re pulled up and treated like a regular offender? You would perhaps say to yourself, “so much for not making a single mistake all these years!”. How great it would be if someone lauded us for sticking to the rules just as enthusiastically as they would punish the act of flouting. Well, while that may or may not happen with traffic rules, at home you can be the harbinger of change. Observe your kid’s good behavior as intently as you look for goof ups. Recognize their efforts at regularly sticking to the rules. Be generous in advertising their good behavior in front of your spouse and/or other relatives.
  • Set an Example, Watch Yourself: It is a common occurrence that parents who set rules about obedience and respect openly misbehave with their own elderly parents or even strangers. Children exposed to such ambiguity have no second thoughts about flouting the rules. If you have a rule about not shouting or yelling stuck on your child’s study room soft board, you need to ensure that some errant driver sliding into your lane while driving does not make your child witness your nasty road rage. If you’re inconsistent in your own behavior, be prepared for a power struggle, especially with preteens and teenaged children.
  • Teach your Child that Freedom Comes with Responsibility: Enforcement of rules is possible only if there are distinct consequences to flouting them. Ensure that your kids understand that the consequence is the price they have to pay for flouting the rules. Do not position the consequence as a “punishment”. Keeping the rules positive means, not following the rule will result in a minor or major inconvenience. Just like you’d get a speeding ticket for speeding over limits in traffic, let the consequences be clear and non-violent but adequately inconvenient to the kid. Ensure to communicate the consequences well in advance and start with warnings before strictly enforcing the rules. Everyone needs a “warm up”. Remove “harshness” or “negativity” as much as possible. Also, tone down or tone up the inconveniences based on the kids’ reactions to them. Ensure that none of your consequences for flouting the rules border on abusive parenting. For example, take off that rule that says – “if you don’t get home by 11 at night, make arrangements to stay elsewhere until morning”. For younger kids, do not have a rule that says; “if they don’t eat their vegetables, they’ll have to stay hungry”. There can be no positive learning from these kinds of flaming threats. Let helping with minor household chores or cleaning up their own room, etc., serve as consequences for disobeying rules.

Some Best Practices
A lot of young kids understand better when rules are laid out in a “Dos and Don’ts” fashion. Be tuned in to your kid’s reactions to the rules and consequences. If the kid is unable to make sense of the rules or thinks that the consequences are unfair, have a discussion with him/her without being condescending. If you have more than one kid around the house, make sure that most of your rules stay the same for all of them. If you have a teenaged kid with a curfew limitation that exceeds the younger child, explain why it is so. The aim of having rules is to promote harmony within the family, nobody should feel left out. Trust your kid and do not indulge in excessive monitoring of his/her activities. Don’t come across as someone who’s waiting for the kid to make a mistake! Don’t keep on nagging the kid and reminding the rules at all times. Avoid never-ending, unachievable consequences, don’t make the situation hopeless for the child. Another common mistake parents often tend to make is to hold a lasting grudge for certain actions by the child; for example, giving the child the silent treatment lasting several weeks for an act of misbehavior that occurred some time in the past. This is highly ineffective in correcting the misbehavior. Make sure that the result corresponds to the act of flouting the rule. Don’t blanket the consequence over everything else that the child does!

The key to making rules work is constant positive reinforcement and ensuring that the child is not left alone to deal with the harsh consequences of his/her actions. The aim of having rules is to steer the child towards self-discipline and civil behavior. Teaching the child to behave within the domain of reasonable boundaries needs patient effort. Establishing rules can be very helpful in the process of disciplining children. However, as with all fruits of labor, this one will be sweet and worth all the trouble. With these tips on how to make house rules that stick, hope you can coach your child to become a responsible and independent human being.


Buzzle: Children & Family

Posted in My Thoughts Tagged , ,

January 26, 2012
8:15 pm
by: cadmin

Love Had Passed Her By

She was thirty-five and love had passed her by. She didn’t know the reason. She was prettier than most, intelligent, blessed with a good personality.

She had tried every technique she could think of to find a sweetheart; joined clubs, taken courses, attended church services. Nothing had worked. She decided to make the best of it. The lonely life can still be worth living..

“Ma’am may I sit with you? This is my first day on the job. I don’t know anyone. You look kind,” he said. “Please do,” she responded as her life of loneliness ended.

Published by Mario V. Farina

Born: June 11, 1923 Schenectady, NY. Veteran, U.S. Army serving during World War II. Graduate College of Saint Rose, Albany, NY. Employed American Locomotive Company, General Electric Company, Rensselaer…   View profile


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January 25, 2012
8:30 pm
by: cadmin

How Proposed New Michigan Casinos Could Hurt Detroit

As a political/business consultant, many have asked me if the proposed new casinos in Michigan will have a negative impact on Detroit. The casinos make the city of Detroit hundreds of millions of dollars every year, and a loss of any of this revenue could have a major impact on the cash-strapped city. I understand the concern in the metro area, since Detroit cannot afford to lose a dollar.

Michigan Is Yours has received state approval to explore options for up to seven new casinos in Michigan. The group is preparing petitions for different cities to see what the interest would be in developing properties into gambling establishments. Successful petitions would not automatically mean a casino would go up. It would only mean that the residents were accepting of the idea.

Proposed locations such as Lansing, Grand Rapids, Benton Harbor, and Saginaw would not have a noticeable impact on Detroit due to the distance. People visit the Detroit casinos because of their location. If fans are going down to Comerica Park to see the Tigers, they might stop in and play a few hours of blackjack after the final pitch. Others will go downtown simply for a run at the slots, and I am sure these people will not travel for over an hour (or three) to head to casinos out of town on a regular basis.

Michigan Is Yours has a proposal for placing another casino within the Detroit city limits. This would actually benefit the city due to the increased revenue. The increased competition might actually help gamblers, as the casinos work hard for your money. If the casinos are close enough to each other, people can casino-hop by cab or car and rotate the money around.

The worst scenarios for Detroit would be the proposed casinos in Romulus and Mount Clemens. A location in Romulus would pull westsiders away from downtown Detroit, while a Mount Clemens location could pull both eastsiders and gamblers from the northeastern suburbs. While the increased revenue might help out these other cities, the impact could be devastating on Detroit.

If the Detroit casinos lost 10 percent of their take, the city would lose 10 percent of the tax revenue. Where would the city make up this loss? Likely backdrops would be to raise tax rates or increase rates that the suburbs have to pay for the water that runs through the processing plant. Even the thought of lost revenue in the future would be something that would come to Gov. Snyder’s mind as he explores the option of an EFM for the city.

L. Vincent Poupard is a political/business consultant who specializes in helping businesses gain a foothold in their communities. He is also writer who spends as much free time as possible enjoying all that Michigan has to offer.


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January 24, 2012
8:47 pm
by: cadmin

Characteristics of a Shakespearean Tragedy

Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

I think the above quote applies very well to William Shakespeare’s works, for he has created such beautiful pieces of literature in the form of tragedies. However, the attempt of categorizing his works under a category is quite difficult because every work of art created by him is an experiment to create something different from the previous one, and he achieved success each time. However, there are certain aspects that he has followed consistently in each of his tragedies and we shall be looking at those aspects. There are some other elements that make the play a complete form of Shakespearean tragedy, which are dealt in detail in further sections.

Shakespearean tragedies are highly influenced by Greek drama and Aristotle’s notion of tragedy. It was Aristotle who had first described the genre of tragedy in his Poetics which is followed even today to analyze modern drama. Take a look at the following characteristics shared by most Shakespearean plays.

Characteristics of a Shakespearean Tragedy

Most of the tragedies written by Shakespeare are revenge and ambition tragedies. For instance, Othello, Hamlet, King Lear and Macbeth are the dark tragedies showing revenge and ambition. However, there is an exception to this in the form of a romantic tragedy, rather the only romantic tragedy written by Shakespeare and that is Romeo and Juliet. Unlike the revenge/ambition tragedy, there are two tragic characters in Romeo and Juliet. Romeo becomes impulsive and acts without thinking about consequences, which causes the separation and ultimately the death of the two lovers. Coming back to revenge/ambition tragedies, there are some noticeable features which are dealt with, in the following part.

Tragic/Fatal Flaw

O farewell,
Farewell the neighing steed, and the shrill trump,
The spirit-stirring drum, th’ ear-piercing fife;
The royal banner, and all quality,
Pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war!
And O you mortal engines, whose rude throats
Th’ immortal Jove’s dread clamors counterfeit,
Farewell! Othello’s occupation’s gone. – Othello

A ‘tragic flaw’, by definition, is a personality trait that leads to the downfall of the protagonist. It can also be a wrong action performed by the protagonist that results in his own ruin. It is the most important element in the tragedy and almost every hero/heroine of a Shakespearean tragedy possesses a tragic flaw. Examples of tragic flaw in Shakespearean tragedy are: Macbeth’s obsession with power, Othello’s jealousy and Hamlet’s indecisiveness.

Supernatural Elements

By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes. [Knocking]
Open locks,
Whoever knocks! – Macbeth

Use of super-natural elements is a common characteristic of the Elizabethan drama, to which Shakespeare’s plays are no exception. Supernatural powers contribute to the fate of the protagonist. However, they are not solely responsible for the downfall of the hero, it still lies in the deeds/actions of the hero. Usually, these actions are the outcome of the protagonist’s over-ambitious nature (as in Macbeth where he wants to become the king) or the feeling of revenge. Furthermore, they are not illusions in the mind of the hero because they contribute to the action of the play with their presence in more than one or two scenes. The effective use of witches in Shakespeare’s plays reflect the ancient social beliefs in the evil powers who practice evil rites to affect the central character(s). For instance, in Macbeth, when Macbeth encounters the three witches, he starts believing whatever they say without questioning their existence. This is what the ancient social belief in the evil spirits reflected in Shakespeare’s tragedy.

Internal and External Conflict

I’ th’ last night’s storm I such a fellow saw,
Which made me think a man a worm. My son
Came then into my mind, and yet my mind
Was then scarce friends with him. I have heard more
since. As flies to wanton boys are we to th’ gods,
They kill us for their sport. – King Lear

The external conflict, as we can easily make out, is the conflict between two people, the tragic hero and another main character of the story. It can also be the conflict between two parties one which is led by the tragic hero. The result of the external conflict is always in favor of the other party as it is the good party. When talking about the inward struggle of the hero, the conflict represents the struggle of thoughts in his mind. The result of this struggle, many a time is that the hero goes insane (as in King Lear, the king becomes mentally ill). The inward struggle also includes the action of spiritual forces which work against the hero.

Fate/Fortune

How now, my lord, why do you keep alone,
Of sorriest fancies your companions making,
Using those thoughts which should indeed have died
With them they think on? Things without all remedy
Should be without regard: what’s done, is done. – Macbeth

As the tragic hero/heroine is of high estate and is a public figure, his/her downfall produces a contrast which affects not only his/her personal life, but the fate and welfare of the entire nation or the empire. It reflects the powerlessness of human beings and the omnipotence of fate that a personal story of a peasant or a worker cannot produce. The adverse effects of fate on the empire are evident in Macbeth, when Duncan’s sons Malcolm and Macduff are planning to defeat Macbeth and at the same time trying to support the collapsing kingdom. Macduff suggests that Malcolm take the throne, but Malcolm is not mature enough to hold the falling empire.

The Theme of Foul and Revenge

I have no spur
To prick the sides of my intent, but only
Vaulting ambition, which o’erleaps itself,
And falls on th’other. . . . – Macbeth

As it is a tragedy, foul has to counterfeit fair; an unwritten rule of a Shakespearean tragedy. In fact, “fair is foul and foul is fair” is the refrain of the play. The entire play revolves around the theme of foul turning fair. The very first line of the first scene of the play spoken by the three witches shows the intensity of the theme. Similarly, in Hamlet, revenge is the theme built cleverly right from the beginning of the play and making it the driving force behind the character of Hamlet.

Paradox of Life

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing. – Macbeth

Shakespeare’s tragedies reflect the paradox of life, in the sense that the calamity and suffering experienced by the tragic hero are contrasted with the previous happiness and glory. This paradox is very clear in the play Macbeth. Initially, Macbeth is portrayed as the most brave and loyal soldier of the nation and is rewarded by king Duncan for his bravery and love for the nation. However, Macbeth is not satisfied with whatever he gets and desires more. This desire or over-ambitious nature leads him to think evilly and act on it which is an extreme end of his real personality.

Catharsis

Any piece of literature, or any art form for that matter, is successful when it evokes pity, fear, and other such emotions in the audience. It is known as catharsis, where the audience feels sympathy for the character and empathize with his/her sufferings. If the play has the capacity to move the audience by its plot, people who are reading the play or watching it in the theater can identify with the characters and feel that they have similar experiences in their life.

Tragic Structure

A tragic story (Shakespearean) can be divided into four parts and they are as follows:

  1. Exposition: Exposition is the beginning of the play where the reader/audience gets to know the characters and their traits, the general setting of the story, the major conflict in the story and most importantly, the tragic flaw of the hero. Normally, exposition begins and ends in the first act itself, however, sometimes there are some characters who enter late into the story.
  2. Rising Action: Rising action develops through the second act and extends up to the third and the fourth act. This is the time when the plot gathers momentum and the action increases. The plot eventually reaches the crisis where the hero makes a decision that changes the course of the play, sealing his own fate. For example, Macbeth kills Duncan in act II whereas Lear’s foolish decision to divide the kingdom occurs in act I. This is how the location of the crisis differs from play to play. By the end of the rising action, the hero is left alone for the rest of the story.
  3. Falling Action: From the beginning of the fourth act, the opposite forces become active and start an open resist. They also start 3. plotting the removal of the tragic hero as a result of which the power of the tragic hero starts declining.
  4. Resolution: In the last and final act, the opposite forces reach the full power and defeat the isolated tragic hero. This is the time when the hero recognizes his faults, yet, cannot do anything about it.

Shakespeare wrote 10 tragedies in all namely, Antony and Cleopatra, Coriolanus, Hamlet, Julius Caesar, King Lear, Macbeth, Othello, Romeo and Juliet, Timon of Athens and Titus Andronicus, out of which the four dark tragedies, Hamlet, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, and King Lear are the most admired. Apart from tragedies, important works of Shakespeare include romantic comedies, historical plays and 154 love sonnets.


Buzzle: Arts & Literature

Posted in My Thoughts Tagged , ,

January 23, 2012
9:01 pm
by: cadmin

Life of New Beginnings

My body shook as I watched Antonio’s agonized shuffle to his room. He looked at me and the pain in his eyes increased. I could tell he didn’t blame me or have me the guilty party of Macon’s death although he could’ve done without. He walked up to his room and his door closed with a sense of finality.

I have no idea how long I sat there until suddenly Damien, Cedrica, and Rain stood before me. They looked to me and lifted their eyes to the ceiling. I couldn’t help my overwhelming feeling of guilt. Cedrica and Rain darted upstairs and Damien slowly sat by my side.

He looked at me with his dark eyes of his and I couldn’t meet his gaze. If I did I would surely burst into tears. His came up and stroked my cheek, telling me it was okay to not speak. To speak when I was ready.


Buzzle: Arts & Literature

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January 22, 2012
9:11 pm
by: cadmin

Abigail Breslin and the Tribeca Film Festival Invade Westfield

Westfield became Hollywood as The Rialto Theater welcomed The Tribeca Film Festival. Celebrities in attendance included many of Hollywood’s best including the one and only Abigail Breslin. Breslin who most notably played Olive Hoover in the award winning, Little Miss Sunshine, welcomed her new film, Janie Jones, to the festival in what many considered the highlight of a fun filled weekend.

Arriving in a cream-colored dress the 15-year-old exuded beauty and composure of a woman far beyond her years. After just minutes talking, it became obvious that this wasn’t Breslin’s first time in the Westfield area.

“My mom’s family is from here so Summit is like my second home,” Breslin explained. “I come out to the Summit area every week or two and every Christmas eve and for a lot of Halloweens. Growing up close by, I’ve been to Westfield a bunch of times.”

Abigail soon went on to talk about taking Janie Jones on the road and how her and her family are so excited about it.

“As a New Yorker, it is so exciting for me to be a part of the Tribeca Film Festival, but I think that it is really great to bring Tribeca to an area that doesn’t have their own festival. This is a movie I am really proud of. I have a lot of family here tonight so I am really excited.”

When asked about the film Breslin explained the relationship between her character and her father and the bond that grows between the two throughout.

“I play Janie and she’s a girl who meets her dad for the first time when she’s a teenager. She meets him because her mom is a drug addict and wants to get cleaned up and abandons her at a bar that her dad is performing at. He is this burnt out rocker guy and she has to go on tour with him and they kind of bond through the fact that they are both singer/songwriters. That’s kind of what the movie is about. My songs were written by a girl named Gemma Hayes. So yea, it has been really fun.”

Breslin’s musical talents have been on display previously in Little Miss Sunshine when she gave her memorable dancing performance of “Super Freak”, but fans are eager to find if she has always wanted to be a signer as well as an actress and what the future holds musically?

“It’s not anything that I really ever thought of except I have done singing at the church Christmas party and stuff like that. Other then that this is my first experience with it. It kind of inspired me to learn more guitar. I taught myself guitar and then took more vocal lessons and now I have a band called Cabb with my best friend Cassidy.”

Before the start of the film, David Rosenthal, the director and writer of Janie Jones revealed his inspiration for this uplifting film.

“I met my daughter for the first time when I was 30 and she was 11. When I saw my daughter for the first time, my heart was racing. She walked out of her classroom, our eyes met and she just ran into my arms. From that moment to this moment right now we have been best friends. She changed my life, she changed the way I experience love. It was just so clear that I had to tell a version of this story that had been burning inside me for so long.”

From beginning to end the Tribeca Film Festival was a huge success and had an opening night for the ages with Abigail and others associated with Janie Jones arriving with their film. The rest of the weekend included Q and A’s with actors such as Dennis Farina & Vincent D’Onofrio. Westfield and the rest of New Jersey sure hope that this is the start of a beautiful relationship with Tribeca.

Check out the interview with Abigail here-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLVY5S31U9g


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January 21, 2012
9:24 pm
by: cadmin

Rob Lowe Won’t Reveal Source for Peyton Manning Retirement Tweets

Rob Lowe sat down with Ellen DeGeneres yesterday and discussed his now infamous tweets about the possible retirement of legendary Indianapolis Colts’ quarterback Peyton Manning. Lowe explained to Ellen that he’s a “regular guy” who is a huge Colts fan and a huge Peyton Manning fan. He said that he tweets regularly about sports and that this was just another example of that. Of course, Lowe implied in his tweets that he had a credible source for the Manning retirement rumor: “Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL,” Lowe wrote. “Wow. #Colts. My people are saying Manning will retire today. What do you hear? Colts fans, let’s hope my info is wrong. Don’t like being wrong, but this time…I’m hoping.”

The major sports and news outlets quickly tried to confirm the rumor, but the only official word is that Manning has no plans to retire or make any sort of announcement in the near future. Manning is still recovering from neck fusion surgery that forced him to miss the entire 2011 NFL season. Given the uncertain nature of his injury and recovery, it’s certainly possible that he may be forced to retire or possibly move on to another team during the upcoming offseason.

When asked by Ellen where he heard the scoop, Lowe declined to reveal his source, stating simply, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” Well played, Rob Lowe. If Lowe’s Colts’ fandom is to be believed, it’s a safe assumption that he was simply tweeting what he felt was credible information about Peyton Manning, probably assuming that others would have heard something as well. We’ll find out soon enough whether Rob Lowe’s source was correct.


Buzzle: Entertainment & Media

Posted in My Thoughts

January 20, 2012
10:11 pm
by: cadmin

Teaching Children to Make Good Choices

“Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.” ~ Ayn Rand

One question often comes to our mind, as worded in the famous soliloquy from Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ To be or not to be: that is the question and often enough, we are baffled by the choice we make. We seldom give a thought, on what children go through especially when we constantly daunt them for the choices they make. But hey, they are kids and need a guiding hand while taking decisions that will affect their life. Even as a grownup, I adhere to my mom’s words of wisdom originally borrowed from Dr. Shad Helmstetter – “No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.” As a parent, teaching your child how to make a wise decision, is an advice, that goes without saying. Besides, the future of your child lies partly in your hands, as much as it lies in his/hers.

Teaching Kids to Make Good Choices

Are you a parent who gives in to your child’s demands, even though your kid is only a year old? Stop before you go any further and regret your pampering later in life, when your child becomes spoiled for choice.

Start Early: Don’t Let Them be Spoiled for Choice
Kids apparently find a way to get things done according to their wish and being a parent, you should be wary of their demands. Begin teaching your kids to make choices early in life, it will help save you from pesky teenagers in the future. Making decisions should be taught when the child learns how to walk; in short, as soon as the child learns to stand on his/her own feet and talk. Your child will respect you more if, as a parent, you teach him/her to differentiate the right from the wrong. Remember, your child is an individual and sooner they realize their responsibilities, the better.

Simple Things Matter
Your child will grow up to be a mature individual, capable to make the right choices, only if you as a parent, will allow them to discern the right from the wrong when they are small. Teach your child the importance of making decisions by setting the right example. Explain the difference between a good choice and a bad one and support it with your actions. Nothing beats a reward; not necessarily material things but a simple pat on the back can do the trick, especially when they follow your instructions well. Think from the child’s perspective, you wouldn’t want someone constantly bickering over you about your choices, would you?

Learning from Mistakes
Children will be children and are bound to make mistakes; chances of your child learning to make the right choice through their faults is high, as long as you take time to make them realize that their actions are wrong. Be patient and compassionate about their choices, they might come to you asking for help in deciding, it’s invariably your duty to guide them well. Ask your child questions instead of simply burdening them with suggestions. Besides, if giving them a choice allows them to learn and gain a sense of control, then what’s the harm?

Responsibility Comes from Doing
Imagine if your parents never permitted you to enjoy the freedom of choice, and restricted your every move, would you have turned out to be a responsible citizen? If the choices that you made in your childhood have molded you to be just who you are, then why hinder your child’s ability to take up responsibility. Give your child an option to choose from, make it a point to consider his/her views as well. Taking up responsibilities like helping out in household chores, or caring for pets will enable your child to develop self-worth and a sense of contribution.

Be Compassionate
Your child will develop his/her ability to make good choices if you as a parent genuinely support and encourage your child. Positive encouragement received from an elder, puts the child in the right stead to make a correct decision. Do not judge and doubt your child on one wrong choice, for as most grandparents say, listen with an empathetic ear and judge with a compassionate heart. It is advisable that you encourage positive friendship and choices, and make them aware about negative choices and their impacts.

Learning by Imitating
Have you ever observed your child closely? If you have, then I’m sure you might have noticed your child’s inclination to imitate every action performed around him/her. Your child learns more from imitating than from any other source. Be prudent in your actions, your child is observing every move you make and every decision you take. Your child will learn from you, and your choices will definitely affect his/her future choices; besides making good choices will only help develop your child’s character. Think twice before you ask your kid to lie on the phone to your boss, he/she might do the same one fine day and no guesses who will be at the receiving end!

Love Unconditionally
Finally, do not forget to love and trust your child and his/her decision-making powers. If you put a lifetime in trusting your child, in making the right decisions, the possibility of him/her making a right one is a surety. Love your child unconditionally, there is no greater way to teach your child to make good decisions than to say you love and trust his/her decisions. For obvious reasons, any choice that you offer your child has to be one that you genuinely support. Children can be rash and short-sighted in their decisions but with a bit of precaution and help from your side, they can surely develop their decision-making prowess. Besides, they need a guiding hand and an opportunity to learn, even if it is from their own faults and shortcomings.

“When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be… Will I be pretty, will I be rich; here’s what she said to me… Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future’s not our to see que sera sera..What will be will be”. It’s good to remember that, no matter what you do, your child’s decision will someday work for him/her, for you and I do not rule the life of the other, especially your child’s life.


Buzzle: Children & Family

Posted in My Thoughts Tagged , , ,

January 19, 2012
9:57 pm
by: cadmin

How to Improve Your Credit the Right Way

Your credit score can help or ruin your future. Looking to buy a car, a home or apply for student loans? Those with bad credit will have a difficult time obtaining these things and with the economy the way it is, this isn’t a risk people should take.

Are you one of the millions of people suffering with bad credit? According to credit scoring system FICO, 60 percent of people have a 780 credit score or lower. Credit score factors to keep in mind; your score will not improve over night. Even so, with some time and these tips, you won’t have any problems improving your credit score.

Keeping up with Bills

What affects credit scores the most is not paying your bills on time or paying the minimum balance each month. While it won’t show up on your credit report until it’s more than 30 days late, it’s important to keep up with your bills so you don’t get too far behind.

While paying the minimum balance keeps your account current, it’s not helping you raise your credit score.

Starting out Small

If you’re starting out for the first time you won’t get approved for a large amount on a new credit card. Most credit card companies start you out small until you can prove you’re able to handle a credit card and making payments on time. Before they give you a high credit limit, lenders want to make sure that you are financially responsible with your credit card.

Remember, when you have no or bad credit, you’ll have a high interest rate… be smart with your spending.

Don’t Close Accounts

Many people will close an account they don’t use anymore, but this could hurt your credit score. If there are credits cards that you’re not using then cut them up or put them in a hiding spot, but don’t close or cancel your account. Closing your accounts shortens the history on your credit report, which doesn’t work in your favor.

If you’re afraid of having too many cards, say no the next time a cashier asks if you would like to open up a credit card. Chances are, you’ll use the card once and that’s it. Stick with one or two major credit cards: One to use and one for emergencies only.

Don’t Bounce Checks

This might sound weird, but ask yourself something. When applying for credit and store cards, who is your lender? Banks. Some lenders might go as far to see if you’ve ever bounced any checks. If you can’t even manage your checking account, what makes you think you can handle a credit card? This is why banks could hesitant in offering you a card.

Ask for Help

Sometimes it’s hard for people to ask for help, but if you’re swamped with credit card debt then there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Consumer Credit Counseling Services are here to help you get out of debt with easy low monthly payments. Credit counseling won’t hurt your score; it helps improve it.

Check your credit score free online to see if you’ve improved your credit ratings. If you’re noticing that you haven’t improved you rating, contact a financial advisor to get additional guidance.


Most Recent – Lifestyle – Voices from Yahoo!

Posted in My Thoughts

January 18, 2012
10:11 pm
by: cadmin

Iran Claims to Receive Letter from President Obama

The Obama administration has not commented directly on reports that the Iranian government received a direct communication from President Obama to the Supreme Leader of Iran. Conservative Iranian lawmaker Ali Motahari spoke to an Iranian news organization about the letter, which was received after U.S. officials said they would be making public and private overtures to Iran to warn them against disrupting global oil flow in the Persian Gulf.

The letter is described as having two distinct sections, the first of which threatens Iran if they attempt to close the Strait of Hormuz. The second part of the letter suggests that Iran and the U.S. engage in direct talks regarding the situation with Iran’s nuclear ambitions and the economic sanctions being placed on the Islamic Republic to discourage their pursuit of nuclear capabilities.

At this point, it is believed that Iran’s leadership is still considering if and how to respond to the private letter from the President. The U.S. recently announced that it would delay the implementation of its harshest proposed sanctions against Iran in order to avoid a global spike in oil prices.

With naval forces from the U.S. and Iran already on high alert, U.S. leaders are eyeing a more diplomatic solution to the Iranian situation. It’s unclear whether any diplomatic agreement could possibly be reached or whether Iran will even engage in direct negotiations with the U.S.

Iran has steadfastly denied that it intends to produce nuclear weapons and has insisted that its nuclear ambitions are limited specifically to energy production.


Buzzle: National & World News

Posted in My Thoughts Tagged